Managing Stress
The beginning of September is often filled with bittersweet sentiment and stress. We are often sad to see the tail end of summer and say goodbye to so many fun summertime activities. Returning to a regular routine can be comforting for some and induce stress for others. Back to school shopping is now completed, and kiddos have had their first day back to school pics taken by proud parents. However, getting back into the swing of things can be difficult and overwhelming.
As we begin scheduling and planning family activities and commitments, we may reflect on the carefree and easy days of summer with a hint of the fall “blues.” It’s important to ensure you do not overcommit yourself. We often equate being a “good” parent with how busy we keep our children and how many activities they participate or excel in. However, when you have multiple kiddos, run a household, work, and still need to look after your children’s meals and day to day needs, it’s important to remember to take time for yourself as well. Taking time to schedule self-care is an important part of having the energy to fulfill all of your responsibilities. Remember to enjoy your weekly yoga class, exercise group, meditation practice, or just walking the dog for a bit of downtime to reduce stress. Research tells us that small bits of time, during the day, where we can unplug, and recharge can have a positive impact on our physical and mental health.
Many of us were taught that saying “no” is bad. We may even have been told that we were “selfish” or “uncaring” when we said “no.” It is important to recognize the signs of people pleasing, often learned in childhood, to keep certain family members happy. Consistently putting others before your own needs, taking on the extra work to make up for others’ vacations over the summer, when you know you do not have the time; sitting on the parent council, when you know you are already over committed; or even agreeing to get kids to activities so your partner can have some time with friends. It’s okay to take on added responsibilities, if we have time, and if you are also taking care of yourselves. Unfortunately, many of us will take on additional responsibilities, and sacrifice our own self-care, even when we do not want to, and it causes us significant stress. This can lead to resentment between partners, or co-workers, if it is not reciprocated.
“NO” is not a bad word. It doesn’t make you selfish or a bad person. In fact, consider how you feel when you are over-stressed and over committed. Do you often feel irritated, tired, or cranky? Your partner, children, and those closest to you often feel this more than those who cajoled you into taking on the added responsibilities. Wouldn’t your partner and kiddos rather have you happy, relaxed and with time available to do something fun with them? Wouldn’t you rather have the time and the energy to do so as well? As we start gearing up for our fall routines, remember you deserve time in your schedule for you too! Say “no” or “I’m sorry, I just can’t do that this year.” After the first few uncomfortable times, it becomes easier, and it feels more and more empowering. There you go! You have just started an important part of a healthy, well-balanced fall schedule that includes you too! Enjoy your “you time!”
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